MyJournalYourJournal today I am discussing why people generalize when things go bad especially in a relationship. Thus, “All men are like that and vice versa”
A stereotype is an oversimplified, widely held belief about a person or group of people. Stereotypes are firmly held assumptions based on generalizations (whether true or not), limited interactions with a person or group, or even hearsay.
So, people go into relationships with others whiles turning down so many others because of their expectations and criteria. But when it turns bad, instead of blaming themselves alone, they play the generalization card. All men or women are the same. Who told so? Did you date all men or women or you just dated that person? What of those you turned down? Why blame them for a decision you made? Take responsibility for your poor choices and leave others out of it, period!
Stop blaming all men and stop being judgemental of all men or generalize that your experiences apply to all men because you didn’t date all men.
You chose who to date among a lot of men. Besides, among all the men that might have come your way, you chose to date that particular person and turned down the others. It is you who made that decision and not all men. Deal with your loss and stop blaming it on all men.
I have dated women who had other guys apart from me until I found out. I have dated women who broke up with me on a Sunday and before it got to Wednesday, she was already seriously hooked with another guy. Do I go about saying all women are like that? Do I or must I go about calling all women sluts because I chose to date the wrong person? It is a big NO! It was my choice and I must take responsibility for my decisions.
Your failures and misfortunes are not the true reflection of the entire world but just you. For instance, people go about dating those they want to with too many expectations and demands such that when they do meet or get such expectations met, they turn around to blame everyone else but themselves.
Look, all men are not the same and so are our women. You just decided on the wrong guy or lady. If you want a change then climb down your ego ladder and tone down your expectations. You can’t continue making the same mistakes and expect different results.
STOP BEEN CHOOSY AND PICKY. You attract what you are. Simple as that.
DISCLAIMER: I am different from any other person living on Earth whether a woman or a man. I am either worse than they are or better than they are. So stop comparing people with others.
Comparisons, especially, comparing people who want to date you now or go out with what happened in your past, is the cause of most failed and unfulfilled relationships. Treat every individual person as unique and judge them differently. To hell with your past. Besides, what if it was never the fault of the other person but yourself?
For instance, people not only ladies but both male and female alike, have weird criteria for entering into a relationship with others. It could be bothering about beauty, character, race, colour, ethnicity, physic, etc. So, why turn people down because of criteria you chose and selected for yourself and when it turns sour, instead of blaming it on yourself and the so-called criteria of yours, you choose to blame it on every man or woman including those you turned down because of your expectations and criteria? I say, BLAME YOURSELF!
For crying out loud, why carry your baggage and toxic relationships from your past into a new one. How? Is either you move on, fully heal and start afresh. You are not the only one who has been through tough times and definitely wouldn’t be the last.
Life in itself is full of ups and downs. Some are born rich and others poor. We are all and can all never be the same. So quit judging people by the actions of others and start treating them as different and unique people.
Before you judge or generalize either in a relationship or anything you are engaged in, remember you are the number culprit. You either played a major role in its success or failure.
Source: Victor Puobabangna Plance